Are you drowning in activity and feeling unfulfilled at work?
Perhaps you are:
Struggling to focus due to too many distractions;
In the weeds and losing sight of the bigger picture;
Feeling resentful and unfulfilled;
Fatigued and burnt-out;
Feeling that you’ve lost your purpose and sense of self.
If any of these resonate, you could be experiencing the downsides of too much doing at work.
“Doing-mode”
Many of us are caught up in a perpetual cycle of doing. Our society often conditions and rewards us for goal attainment, productivity, and hurrying to finish tasks. In western culture, doing = success.
This conditioning often begins as children and is passed through generations through time. Are you from a family of work-a-holics? Working, achieving, delivering? Take a moment to reflect:
As a child, what did your parents/caregivers reinforce or value about you? When were you congratulated or shown love by your primary caregivers?
More often than not, our sense of self-esteem and self-worth is derived from what we do. As a child, perhaps it was how well we could play sport, the grades on our report card, or the latest award we received at school.
As adults, success can mean what salary we’re paid, what type of car we drive, where we live and the size of our house.
The state of doing involves taking action - it is outward looking and future-focused. This directs all of our attention to what we’re doing, or would like to do, or have done (or in many cases, haven’t done!)
The result? A ‘one-sided success model’, which neglects the importance of taking time to be - the ying to the doing yang - an essential component for wellbeing if we are to sustain our huge levels of doing!
When we are in a constant state of doing, we often lose track of the bigger picture of our lives. When we are so heavily focused on the day to day actions that must be performed, we can feel like a hamster on a wheel - running fast but going nowhere. This can gradually deplete our inner resources, leaving us drained, unfulfilled and exhausted.
“Being-mode”
Whereas doing-mode is focused on getting things done or achieving a goal, being-mode is focused inward, and involves greater awareness of our own being. It focuses our attention on the present moment and allow us to be fully present and aware of whatever is arising.
Why is this necessary?
Being enables us to see things differently, and access insights that we might have otherwise overlooked if we were bogged down in doing mode.
It enables us to become more self accepting and present, agile, and resilient in the midst of uncertainty, complexity and conflict.
It also leads to greater awareness and furthers our growth in life. Just think about your own growth and development - in what mode were you when you experienced a big developmental shift or a-ha moment? Chances are it was when you took time to be.
Often organisations seek leaders who are self-aware, well-managed, conscious leaders commited to their own growth who carefully consider their actions and decisions. However, these same organisations tend not to reinforce and reward being states - the very mode required for personal growth!
Recently we ran an online workshop for an Executive team to define the type of leaders they would like to be. We used a polarity mapping process developed by Barry Johnson to illustrate ‘both/and’ thinking.
As you can see from this diagram, they were able to identify healthy patterns when balancing doing and being, and they surfaced unhealthy patterns when they focussed solely on either doing or being alone.
In the end, they recognised that doing and being are interdependent, and are just as important as one another for effective leadership.
Being is not just a solo activity!
Often organisations view being as a solo activity - something individuals need to be responsible for. Whilst this is partially true, it misses the fact that an environment that supports and enables being at work is equally important.
Being mode is just as beneficial to experience individually as it is with others.
Think about conversations where you have focused on the present moment and engaged in true dialogue - being fully present and aware of yourself as well as fully present and aware of the other person. What was the outcome?
The same is true for teams to craft time in team meetings to share what is arising in the group field. Being helps us see things differently, be proactive, learn, grow and create.
What does this mean for leadership?
When we can be fully present to ourselves and to others in our work day, that is where the magic happens, and that is the work of leadership.
Being and doing are both useful in different ways and at different times. The danger lies in over-identification with either mode or applying one mode in a situation that demands another.
Take a moment to reflect on the following and then spend some time being:
At work, what gets reinforced? Are KPIs based solely on outcomes/actions? Who gets promoted? What are measures of success?
As a leader, what do I reinforce for my team?
How do I create space at work for both being and doing?
What actions can I take to maximise the upsides of being and doing?
What are the warning signs that I/we are focusing on one mode and neglecting the other, and what will I/we do in such instances?
Then…how will this shift how you act?